Shit.

I feel like I've always acted mature for my age. And no, that doesn't make me feel like I'm better than those in the same age group as me. I'm just saying that I'm someone who can't really have the same type of "fun" others can have. In other words, I can't see myself doing things college freshmen do.

So, my weekend started off good. We all stayed in on Friday and just hung out in the dorm, drinking. Nothing big really went on. It was just a good time to relax, have fun, and not worry about work. Mike, on the 3rd floor, was also really sweet and bought me some type of Black Pepper plant, which I obtained when I was intoxicated. We all stayed up until Maddie came back from Andrew's fraternity event, and went to bed shortly after.

Saturday night, on the other hand, was the complete opposite of good. I had a feeling the night was going to be bad. I didn't even want to drink, but decided to anyways because it was going to be the last night everyone would be able to party. It was also a night where everyone dressed classy, and popped champagne. It didn't take long before everyone was drunk. There were hookups from left to right, people falling down to the floor, etc. After many people dispersed due to some issues, i.e. people crying and RA's knocking on Nick's door, we headed upstairs. I left Maddie with Mike, while I believe I went to get water with Matt. Once I got back onto the 2nd floor, I noticed Tim crying. I checked up on him and Sihem, who was watching over him, to see if they needed anyone and then was sent back to check on Maddie. I noticed the door closed, so I knocked. No one answered. All I heard were "Shh's" and whispers. I continuously knocked, and they just pretended they weren't there. I decided then to go back to Sihem's room to tell her what had just happened. She and Lindsay then decided to head down to Mike's room themselves and knock. After a while of knocking, Mike finally opens the door, saying something along the lines of "Wtf's going on with all the knocking. We're sleeping."

Bullshit.

What does he take me for? An idiot? I heard talking, whispers, "shh's." You know what I didn't hear? Mike's snoring. So yeah, sleeping? Think of a better excuse. Anyways, why am I so pissed? I'm pissed because Mike's been trying to get with Maddie all year now. And what has Maddie responded to him with? Rejection. So for all I know, he only wants to be in the same room as her at that moment because she is drunk to the point where she'd hook up with sketchy strangers, including him. For all I know, he's taking advantage of her. So before he or anyone says "FUCK everyone who kept trying to ruin the night," fuck him for trying to take advantage of my roommate. Also, I don't care if they said nothing happened. It's obvious things did. It's just unfortunate for them that they can't allow themselves to admit to it.

On the other hand, I did ask Maddie in the morning how she felt about me knocking on the door and if she would want me to do the same the next time that happened. She just responded by saying "Do what you want to do. If you feel like it's appropriate to knock, then knock. " She basically never gave me straight answers to my questions, so I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt that she wouldn't have minded being in that same situation with him again. Therefore, I owe him an apology.

I'm actually happy this situation happened because I now know that I don't have to keep an eye on her when she's drunk. I also know that if anything does happen in the future between her and anyone else, it's not my thing to tamper in.

Anyways, I'm done with this shit. This is why I fucking hate getting into people's lives. Everytime I take initiative, people get pissed at me. This is also why my friends tend to be guys. You have to worry too much about your girl friends. They can't seem to take care of themselves. I can't wait to get away from everyone here. I need to go back to my drama-less life back home before I kill myself here.