Suppression.

I feel at ease when I'm around him. It's almost as if nothing else exists when he's by my side, as if I'm in another world. It's only him that's there and I can stay in that place forever.

There's only one problem: he's holding back... We're both holding back, but I don't know why. Little things have happened in the past but it was always he who chose to discontinue them. It makes me uneasy, questioning every action I want to make - every action I yearn to make.

Saying goodbye was exceptionally hard today. Knowing there'd be about another three months until I'd get to see him again made leaving unbearable. The thought of it still aches. I feel like he's all I'm missing when I'm in Amherst. I swear, if it weren't for the incredible atmosphere there, I'd miss him even more. It's like my natural medication. I'm just lucky everything there dulls my problems down.

All in all, I think he enjoyed the Open Mic Night (even though it ended an hour earlier than it was supposed to). I hope he enjoyed it. We both got a free CD from one of the performers: Jon Palmer & The New Complainers. You should check them out. "Radio" easily became a favorite of mine. After the show ended, we just sat and talked until the Thomas' came. Once they did, we played pool, teaming up against them and somehow managing to beat them the both times we played. It was fun and exciting seeing as I made my first hole and last of the games', shooting the eight-ball in. So exciting! I got a hug for that. Haha. After pool, he left and the Thomas' and I went to Kevin's dorm and played some Tekken for a bit. It was fun. I kicked Thomas' butt. :)

Spring break has passed by pretty quickly. It sucks that it's almost over, but I am somewhat excited to go back to Amherst. I've had a lot of fun already and have seen two out of the three people that are of dire importance to me. I wish I could've seen Paul, but I know he's alive, well, and busy, so it's okay. I just miss our vermicelli extravaganza's. I can't seem to bring myself to eat it with anyone else. I also wish I could've seen my cousin and a couple others, but I know they'll still be right there waiting for me to get back.

With all this said, here's my song of the night. I like how I'm getting into this habit of linking songs. They tend to express how I'm feeling. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. Tonight's is:

Snow Patrol

Final Straw

Run